On our 2nd term as missionaries, and 9 years into our life in Asia, and I find myself baffled by my 'still needy' -ness. Why are the same aspects of this culture still annoying me? Why do I still fear? Why do I still struggle to have peace and joy in my heart? Why do the same ol' things still stress me out?
Shouldn't I be more mature than this by now?
Shouldn't I be more acclimated to this country by now?
Shouldn't I be a better mom and a more loving wife by now?
Shouldn't life's inconveniences be more humorous by now?
Shouldn't life's heartaches be easier to bear by now?
Another missionary was telling me about her own '2nd term' experience today. She said, 'The day that we both got into a motorcycle accident, and our house flooded, was the day I realized I still needed God's help to live in this country. I still needed our supporters' prayers.'
I still sin.
Therefore, I still need my Savior.
I still hurt.
Therefore, I still need a Comforter.
I still struggle.
Therefore, I still need God's help.
I still fail.
Therefore, I still need Forgiveness.
I still feel Loneliness.
Therefore, I still need Others.
I am still on earth and still just a sinner saved by God's amazing grace. Life still hurts sometimes, and will continue to until heaven. So, in the middle of all of my 'stills' I can just...
Be still and know that;
God is good.
(even if I'm not)
God is love.
(and he loves ME)
God is strong.
(and never threatened by my weakness)
God is able.
(I can do all things through Him)
God sees and cares.
(I can come boldly before his throne of grace and receive the mercy I so desperately need)
(no more condemnation)
He knows when I'm still having a hard time.
He knows my heart still struggles to be still.
He knows that where I am, and what I'm going through is JUST what I need to learn to
Still trust him,
Still worship him,
and Still rely on him.